Have you always forgiven others for the wrongs they’ve done to you? Or have you just said, “I forgive you,” while ill feelings lingered in your heart? We often forget that Allah (SWT) created us and He knows the best for us. Allah knows it is hard for us to forgive the ones who hurt us, the ones who broke our hearts. Sometimes we’re hurt by the people who are nearest to us, so it becomes even harder for us to forgive. Many people consider forgiveness as a weakness but, this is completely wrong.
The people who can forgive others quickly are the strongest kind of people because they have control over their emotions. Despite being hurt, they tend to move on and overcome the grudges. Grudges held for others take us nowhere; rather they keep us stuck in our own problems. By forgiving others, however, we release the negativity in our life and successfully move forward. We benefit our own selves by forgiving because by doing so we take back our “Peace” from someone else’s hands. Islam has emphasized so much on forgiveness. Our One and Only Lord, Allah almighty, loves to forgive and He forgives our many sins and wrongdoings constantly. So shouldn’t we be striving to forgive others as well? Don’t we all want forgiveness from Allah? No one would claim that they don’t want Allah to forgive them. So if we want Allah to forgive us, then we too should forgive others. We should treat people the same way we want Allah to treat us. If we want forgiveness from Allah, we should be quick in forgiving people. If we want Allah to have mercy upon us, then we should be merciful to His slaves. As mentioned in the ayah -
The greatest motivation to push ourselves to forgive others, is seeking for Allah's forgiveness. Our journey to the Hereafter is full of difficulties and tests, this is our way to prove who we are and this process includes injustice being done to us at the hands of others. If we truly want Allah’s love and forgiveness we must remember that the hurts of this world are only temporary. Allah says in the Quran - "And the retribution for an evil act is an evil one like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation - his reward is [due] from Allah . Indeed, He does not like wrongdoers."
وَجَزٰٓؤُا سَيِّئَةٍ سَيِّئَةٌ مِّثۡلُهَاۚ فَمَنۡ عَفَا وَاَصۡلَحَ فَاَجۡرُهٗ عَلَى اللّٰهِؕ اِنَّهٗ لَا يُحِبُّ الظّٰلِمِيۡنَ (Surah 42:40)
The first fundamental principle which must be borne in mind in retaliation. The right limit of retaliation is that one should return the same sort of ill treatment that he has received; he has no right to return a greater ill treatment.
The second principle is although it is permissible to retaliate against the one who has committed a violence, wherever pardoning can be conducive to reconcilement, pardoning is better for the sake of reconcilement than retaliation. And since man pardons the other by suppressing his own feelings, Allah says that the reward of such a one is with Him, for he has suppressed his own self for the sake of reforming the evil-doers.
In this warning allusion has been made to a third principle about retaliation, and it is this: One should not become a wrongdoer himself in the process of avenging a wrong done by the other. It is not permissible to do a greater wrong in retaliation for the wrong done. For example, if a person gives another a slap, the other can return only one slap; he cannot shower blows and kicks. Likewise, it is not right to commit a sin in retaliation for a sin. For example, if a wicked man has killed the son of someone, it is not right to go and kill the son of the former. Or, if a mean person has violated the chastity of a person’s sister or daughter, it is not lawful for him to commit rape on the former’s sister or daughter.
To motivate us to be the first in showing our good behaviour, there are beautiful hadiths. How many of us know that it is not allowed to be in an argument and keep away from another Muslim for more than three days?
1. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "It is not lawful for a Muslim to forsake his (Muslim) brother beyond three days; and whosoever does so for more than three days, and then dies, will certainly enter the Hell."
Reference : Riyad as-Salihin Book 18, Hadith 85; Book 18, Hadith 1595
2. Narrated Abu Aiyub: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "It is not lawful for a Muslim to desert (not to speak to) his brother Muslim for more than three days while meeting, one turns his face to one side and the other turns his face to the other side. Lo! The better of the two is the one who starts greeting the other."
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 6237; Book 79, Hadith 11; Vol. 8, Book 74, Hadith 254
3. Narrated Anas bin Malik: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Do not hate one another, and do not be jealous of one another, and do not desert each other, and O, Allah's worshipers! Be brothers. Lo! It is not permissible for any Muslim to desert (not talk to) his brother (Muslim) for more than three days."
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 6065; Book 78, Hadith 95; Vol. 8, Book 73, Hadith 91If someone did wrongs to another human being, the act must first be redressed with the wronged person or human being who should be asked for forgiveness before asking forgiveness from Allah. Islam teaches human beings to be forgiving and if someone sincerely asks for forgiveness, the wronged person should forgive him. Our beloved Prophet (SAW) said: “Whoever suffers an injury and forgives (the person responsible), Allah will raise his status to a higher degree and remove one of his sins.” If we expect forgiveness from Almighty Allah then we also have the ability to forgive others.
Asking for Forgiveness is a Lasting Need of the Servant!
Shaykh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, may Allah have mercy upon him said: Asking for forgiveness removes the servant from hateful deeds to those that are loved, from the defective deeds to the complete deeds. It raises the servant from the lower status to the higher and more complete one. Indeed, the worshiper of Allah, the knower of Allah -
a. increases every day, every hour, or rather every moment in knowledge of Allah, insight in His religion and servitude.
b. He finds this in everything; his eating, drinking, sleeping, waking, speaking, and doing.
c. He sees the shortcomings of his heart's attendance to its highest possible status - fulfillment of the duties of his servitude.
d. He is in need of asking for forgiveness during the last hours of the night and at the ends of the day.
e. He is eternally coaxed to it in his sayings and doings, in what is visible and in what is invisible, because of the benefit of it, the good that comes from it, and the harm it repels.
f. He seeks to strengthen the acts of his heart, and the acts of his body, to increase his faith and certitude.
Seeking forgiveness encircles the people of Tawheed. It accompanies the testimony that none has the right to be worshiped except Allah, among the first of them to the last of them, and the last of them to the first, and the highest of them to the lowest. Indeed, Allah knows best what you reveal and conceal. Repentance is the best of the good deeds which is accompained by sincerity and truthfulness.
Rest Allah knows best.
I apologise for anything said or done knowingly or unknowingly that has caused ill or misery to you or your loved ones in any sort of way that i describe or is unable to describe. Kindly, please accept my apology and forgive me. May Allah swt grant us all both knowledge and wisdom so as to learn and implement the things we learned in best possible ways. Ameen summa ameen.